tall, straight up

I can't help it- i'm a bit obsessed with these shoes. sure they might not look like much more then simple flats- but they're just perfect for the warmer months. the perforations allow for breathability, and the footbed is cushioned. oh and the fact that they're flat with no heel adds to my infatuation.

Here's the thing- i'm tall. Above the average height for women which is 5'5''- i stand at 5'8'' -this can be frustrating when shoe shopping. my predicament is that i love heels, but am drawn to average heigh guys, so that means i either pull the kate holmes/ tom cruse look, or i suck it up and find flats that spark. so while i do enjoy walking close to the ground, raised 3.5'' heigh in heels feels a bit sexier.

I remember the first guy i kissed, second guy i dated- joe X. he was exactly my height. not a millimeter in difference. anyway, i learned how to lean to one side, stand short, and slouch to give the illusion of being shorter. all of these ploys were ridiculous- i mean for crying out loud i was more concerned with his challenged ego than my posture and persona. i used to joke with my friends that he'd put a little lift in his own shoes for prom. i mean the guy needed be able to put his arms around my shoulders without his limbs falling asleep. :)

Then the guy after him was 6'4''- no problem there, in fact i specifically remembering going out and buying three pairs of shoes- all with at least 3'' heels. i even think i strutted around joe X in defiance- what a brat.

But isn't height just another standard that puts us in categories before we even realize they were there to begin with? i mean if you're a short guy- making up for with clever jokes and charming cover usually does the trick. and if your a girl- it's a lot easier to be cute and cuddly if your below the marilyn monroe mark. can you imagine an Amazonian breathily saying "happy birthday mr. president" and then bending down to give him a kiss? nope- it's much better up. the only kiss down i want is in trying to recreate the spiderman moment.

so anyway, after years of trying to accommodate, i've started wearing heels whenever. even ones with 4'' heels. i guess all roads lead up. :)

have in mind

I don’t think there’s a time when I’m not observing, critically observing. Not in a negative way, just in an intrigued- want to figure you out- kind of way. Typically I’m outspoken, and opinionated, and sometimes a tad on the brazen side. But when I first meet someone, I am none of the above. Shy, introverted and hesitant would be the words best to describe my conference at first encounter. The best example I can think of is the approach a snow leopard has before an attack. Usually shy in nature, the leopard carefully watches her victim for a while before making her final move- becoming confident and steady in her attack before her final blow.

Now of course I’ve stopped perching on couches, and peering from behind the corner when I’m observing, some people just found that a bit odd, but I still keep my emotional distance as concealed as possible.

I assume this behavior is due to the combination of inquisitiveness and skepticism. That step into the unknown, but hope in the possibility. Characteristics which are necessary when meeting new people, right? I wouldn't want someone to form a negative opinion based mainly on uncertainty, I'd appreciate a bit of possibility mixed into the encounter. So that's what I try to have, because it seems thats sometimes believing the best of a person involves faith and naivety.